Greetings! Happy Monday here from the snow-filled city of Chicago. One of the things I find incredibly interesting is observing and watching my young child develop his own unique personality and interests. My son is a lot like me in that he is introverted-extrovert, but he has the facial attributes and composition of his mother (I must point out though that the circumference of his head is all me! Lol). Its so interesting to see how so much of him is a mash up of both me and his mother. However, his interests have for the most part been entirely his. I learned today that he has a couple of friends at his school that he has taken an interest in and they do very well playing and enjoying one another company. I think back on my friends and I don’t recall much of the time spent together, but I do recall how we met.
Many of my friends weren’t necessarily from a choosing or a selection process, but more so that we just kind of chose each other. I thought about that this morning with a little curiosity and considered how that process works (or doesn’t) as adults. Often, we find ourselves trying to create friendships by joining organizations, meetups, or virtually — and, for some this can work out extremely well. I have several friends and family members who have found friends and even lifetime partners through these vehicles. In life, we often are put into situations where we have to “make do with what we have”. This pithy also applies to our interpersonal relationships as well. I think what is most important in that is that we should never compromise ourselves for the sake of belonging or fitting in.
I think it’s a magical thing when you do find that someone who you just authentically click with. Its like the universe just came together with the proper equation and the natural fit and all you have to do is walk into it. In fact, take a moment to reflect on people or groups that you ‘completely’ mesh with. This is a person that when you call them you can talk about absolutely nothing for an hour. You can not talk to them for weeks — months, even — and you call them up and begin talking as if you haven’t missed a step. This person you are thinking about probably makes you give a little smile right now, because of the time shared together. This person in mind could also make you sad right now, because you can’t speak to them or there is some distance between you right now. There’s also the possibility that you have never found this type of person and that’s ‘ok’ too. Some people are ok with solitude and if you ask me, that’s perfectly fine. For me, one of those people is my brother. We grew up together and have shared most of our lives together. I can not speak to him for weeks and we will pick up where we left off without much judgement or concern about either status or feelings about one another. He’s been a true friend of mine since the day my mother brought him home.
And, so, the invitation is not to force anything when forming relationships. It’s also not to take any of it for granted and doing your best to cultivate it a little bit. Thanks for reading- Brace